I want to start a new me.
One that doesn’t blow up every time something doesn’t look right.
Somebody calm.
I like calm, but it’s easy to say it and not live it for me.
I’m not a nervous person. I’m intense.
Can an intense person be calm?
Try me.
I’m going to be a very intense person who is calm.
What is intensity?
It is like living in high frequency.
Everything is sharp, vibrating, high life happening.
Noticing everything, everybody.
Everything is my business.
I can help anyone, especially if I don’t know them.
I always have something to say and surprise myself when I hear myself talking.
Usually for the good.
I like my ideas.
Others don’t always approve of them.
What is an intense person like?
Who is intense that I know?
My father was intense. Alex is intense. Intense is quick to respond.
How can I be calm and intense?
I can notice my thoughts, feelings, reactions, and smile.
Just smile.
When I get aggravated because someone didn’t do what I thought was best, and I want to tell them what they did wrong – stop and smile.
Don’t say anything.
Just smile.
To yourself, not to them. They may react to your smile would be forced.
When things don’t go according to what you want, which is always slow down.
Calm people. Slow down.
I’m very reactive. Reactive and calmness don’t usually go together.
When I feel a reaction coming up, breathe.
Breathe deeply
Breathe slowly
Just breath.
That will calm you down.
That will calm me down.
When I’m calm, I think better, and my decisions are more inclusive.
When I breathe slowly and deeply, my heart rate decreases, and more oxygen goes to my brain.
Part of my problem is that I talk too much. Even when I say smart things, people are not interested. It is important to see what people are into.
If they want to talk, I’d better be quiet and listen, and listen some more, and if I have something to say in response, I don’t need to say it. See if they want to hear me. If they want to talk, go back to
Just smile.
Listen and smile.
Wendie is good at it.
Breathe deeply and smile. Go with the flow.
Going with the flow without resistance is good for the soul if there is a soul. If there is no soul, it’s good for the heart. I don’t know what is ahead. I’m curious about what is ahead. Curious and calm is better than curious and tight, nervous, and intense.
I don’t know what is ahead. All I know is what is happening right now. If I continue to write, I’ll turn the future into the present.
I’m always in the present.
Always.
So relax.
You are always here.
I am always here.
Expectations belong to the future. This is why expectations make me nervous. I don’t get my expectations to come true because they are in my head. If my expectations were based on the here and now, it would be easy, like a move in chess. The next obvious move. If I am calm and slow down, I’ll make fewer mistakes reacting and getting annoyed. I get annoyed when my environment doesn’t fit my expectations. It’s better to change my expectations to something small and sensible.
Like writing for twenty minutes. I expect myself to write for twenty minutes, and I don’t know when the end of the twenty minutes will happen because Wendie has the timer. I don’t. I’m just typing and waiting for an idea to come up. What could come up? Why am I here? Is there a plan for me? Do I belong to a bigger group? Is this the right question? What would be a good question? How to stay calm in adversity. How to relax when my husband talks to me about coins in the farmer’s market and I’m still writing my twenty minutes and not feeling rude?
