“Johnny, please don’t forget to get my suit from the dry cleaners. I’ve put the ticket on the table. I have an important meeting on Friday, and I have to look good,” said Johnny’s mom as she handed him his Cheerios.”
“You always look good, Mom,” Johnny said as he poured the milk onto his cereal.
She paused momentarily amidst her morning tasks and looked at him with admiration, “You’re such a good son, Johnny. You help me with the shopping and the cleaner; you even do the laundry when it piles up. You are every mother’s dream.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Johnny mumbled. He put the milk down, took a deep breath, and said, “We’re putting on a play for the school this term, and I’ll have to stay after school for rehearsals. Do you think you could manage to do those jobs for a while? I have a big role, and I need to stay in school for the rehearsals,” he said, following her moves, trying to anticipate his mother’s reactions.
“Sorry, Honey, I can’t afford it. We need the money for my overtime, and you must help me with the groceries. Plays are for children who can afford it. I can’t do it alone, and you know it.” Her hands started trembling, and her breath became rapid. “I wish I could say I could spare you, Johnny, but I need your help. I’m sure the teacher can find someone else for that role. I can’t,” she said as she sat next to him, looking a bit absent mind. “Since your father got his promotion, he’s busier too, so you’re the only person I can rely on,” she continued, “We need the extra money your father brings home, but you have a vital role in this household. I’m sure the teacher can understand.”
“What about if I stayed for rehearsals twice a week?” pleaded Johnny, “Is that ok?”
“Maybe once a week,” his mother replied, “I rely on your help, Johnny. I’m sorry. This matter is closed. If you want, ask your teacher to call me. I can explain. I have to leave now for work. Please don’t forget to start the machine after you put your dishes in. Bye, Honey.” She kissed him on his forehead, her mind occupied with work, and left.
Johnny stayed sitting at the kitchen table. When he heard the door close and the car pulling out of the driveway, he thought his dream of acting in the play was over. He yearned to play the leading role in The Little Prince and knew he could do it. Johnny felt like the little prince, alone in the galaxy, figuring things out, meeting other beings, some helpful, some scary. How could he change his mother’s mind? He must play that role! Ms. Williams, his teacher, said his voice was loud enough to wake the dead. He never heard that expression before. Johnny put the dishes in the dishwasher and pushed start. When he returned home, he would put everything away. His mother liked that. Johnny put the ticket for the dry cleaner in his pocket and hurried off to wait for the bus. It was getting late, and he didn’t like being alone in the house anyway. It felt so empty without his parents.
“Hi, Mrs. Johns,” Johnny smiled at the bus driver as he climbed aboard the bus. He scanned the bus for Betty, and his face brightened as he saw her waving at him, gesturing at the space beside her.
“Hi, Betty,” he said as he squeezed beside her, “did you read The Little Prince? What character would you like to play?” He scanned her face and thought that if it were up to him, he would give her the role of the rose. She was forthcoming and spoke her mind, and secretly he loved her.
“I want to be the fox,” said Betty enthusiastically, “he’s so wise and helpful to the little prince. The book wouldn’t be the same without him, But I’ll gladly take any role in the play. My mom read it when she was a kid. She said she didn’t like it at first because there weren’t any girls in it,” Betty laughed, “but then when she reread it, she realized any character could be a girl, even the little prince because the whole story reflects what we feel and how we think. My mom can be very wise sometimes.”
“I wish my mom were more like that,” said Johnny, “I bet she never even read The Little Prince. She doesn’t want me to take a big role in the play because she needs my help with shopping and chores and doesn’t want me to stay in school after hours. But I want to play the little prince. Maybe Ms. Williams can talk to her or something,” he shrugged.
“We can always send Metta to your mom,” suggested Betty.
“What is Metta?” asked Johnny.
“Metta is a word for sending love to somebody. I learned from Ms. Williams when she taught me the Anapana breathing technique.” said Betty, “It’s very cool. You close your eyes and send good thoughts to people you want to help, wishing them happiness and good health. Here, like this.” Betty closed her eyes and sat quietly for a moment.
“I wish Ms. Williams taught me Anapana,” said Johnny, “I can see how you, Chuck, and Vivi changed after that training. Do you think she could teach me that?” he asked Betty eagerly.
“I’m sure she would. Maybe we could all ask her after the first period. Then we could meditate together!” she grinned as if it had already happened.
“Anapana is a meditation? I thought it was only a breathing technique,” said Johnny.
“It is,” said Betty, “but through the breathing, you meditate. Meditation can be about focusing on the breath, and this is what we do when we practice Anapana. It’s difficult to explain. Ms. Williams will do it best.” she smiled reassuringly and prepared to get off the bus.
Johnny let her go before him, the way he saw his father treat his mother. He thought it was a nice gesture.
In their home classroom, each took their seat. Betty noticed Vivi, her best friend, was already there checking her copy of The Little Prince.
“Hi, Vivi,” said Betty, “did you choose what character you’d like to play?” She sat and took out her copy, “I want to be the fox, but I don’t mind. I’ll let Ms. Williams choose for me.”
“I want to be the lamplighter,” said Vivi, “He lights a street lamp every night and puts it out in the morning. It sounds like a fun thing to do and useful, too, right?” She looked at Betty for reassurance.
Betty didn’t remember the lamplighter much and wanted to agree with Vivi, but then Ms. Williams entered the room.
“Morning, everyone! I see that many of you are getting excited about The Little Prince show already, and that’s great news because the more excited we are about the story, the better the chances that the school will like it when we present it. Who wants to summarize the story for us?” She scanned the room and stopped on Cindy, a girl who usually didn’t say much, and now raised her hand.
The story is about a kid who never grows up but keeps exploring the world around him and in his imagination.
“That’s good, Cindy. I like your answer. Who else wants to add to what Cindy told us, or maybe something completely different?” The teacher was delighted by the many hands raised around the classroom. “Yes, Josh?” Josh was one of the geeks. He was into Science Fiction.
Josh pushed his glasses up his nose, “The Little Prince is an Intergalactic traveler who wants to explore what is beyond his planet. He looks little, but actually, he’s millions of years old. It doesn’t say it, but anybody could see it’s true. He’s like Doctor Who.”
“Thanks, Josh,” said Ms. Williams, “That’s a different way of seeing it. Anybody else?” Betty hesitantly raised her hand, “Yes, Betty?”
“My mother,” said Betty, “told me that when she read the book, she thought all the characters were part of her – some parts my mom liked and some she didn’t. All were part of one person, probably the one who wrote the book.” She saw Johnny nodding in approval and relaxed a bit.
“That’s another way of seeing it, isn’t it?” said Ms. Williams, “One story, many interpretations. That makes sense. We all experience what we see and what we read differently. When I read the book for the first time, and believe me, I reread it many times later; I wanted to be The Little Prince, experience what he experienced, and meet the characters he met. This year I have the privilege of doing it with you as a play for the end of the term for the whole school. Isn’t it exciting?” Many of the children nodded. Others sat indifferent to what was going on. They were traveling through their galaxies. I wrote a short play based on the book since we had little time to prepare. It doesn’t have all the characters in it, but there is room for all of you to participate.”
“Vivi, please give a copy to each student; thanks,” she said, handing copies of the play to Vivi. “You’ll see five main characters: The Little Prince, the Rose, the Fox, the King, the Snake, and the Pilot. We need five students to play those roles. The rest will support the roles of flowers and other elements in the story. Let’s see if we have volunteers. Who wants to be the king?”
Michael raised his hand. “Yes, Michael,” said Ms. Williams, “Why do you want to play the king role?”
“Because I feel like a king already,” grinned Michael, “I’m a quarterback. I speak up when I have something to say. I’m strong, and I feel comfortable ordering people around.” Everyone laughed and nodded.
“Excellent,” said Ms. Williams, “Who wants to be the rose?”
Tommy raised his hand, “Tommy?” Ms. Williams was confused since she expected a girl to choose this role, “Why do you want to play the rose?”
“Because roses are my favorite flower,” said Tommy, “my mom says I remind her of my aunt Rosie, her younger sister who died before I was born. I love The Little Prince, and I get easily sick. I feel like laughing right now,” he added and started imitating a cough to everybody’s amusement.
“Those are all great reasons, Tommy,” said Ms. Williams, “but don’t get sick only to get the role. It’s already yours. What about the snake? Who wants that role?”
Chuck raised his hand.
“Yes, Chucky, I see your hand. Why do you want to play the snake?” Ms. Williams was in awe of how transparent and courageous her students were.
Chuck replied, “Because I want to control my life more.”
“And the life of others,” Michael added, looking at Chuck with newly gained appreciation.
Chuck looked back at him but said nothing.
“Done!” Ms Williams said. “The Fox? Who is going to be our little friendly fox?”
“I’d like to be the fox,” said Betty, “because I can see him in my heart. In my bedroom, I have his quote laminated across my bed – ‘It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.'” Her eyes were bright, and her voice was crystal clear.
“I’m impressed,” said Ms. Williams, “What made you pick this particular quote, Betty? There are so many insights packed in this little book.”
“I don’t know,” said Betty, “Maybe, because too often I pay attention to what is visible and forget the importance of what is invisible.”
Ms. Williams nodded, “I know what you mean, Betty. You’re not alone in that behavior. I should have it hanging over my bed too! You know what? You just gave me an idea. From now until the end of the term, whenever someone comes across a quote that speaks to their heart, hand it to me, and I’ll post it on one of the walls. I bet we’ll learn a lot from each other. Betty, I invite you to be the first to post a quote. Ok?”
“Yes, Ms. Williams,” said Betty, “I’ll be happy to do it.”
“Ok, let’s move on. Who’d like to be the Little Prince?”
Johnny’s hand shot right up as when he wanted something with all his heart.
Ms. Williams smiled, “Yes, Johnny. Why would you like to play the little prince?”
“Because he’s awesome, Ms. Williams. I like how he thinks and befriends everybody and learns from any situation. He’s smart and kind. I want to be like him.” Johnny said in one breath, stealing glimpses at Betty. He was wondering what she thought.
“That’s wonderful, Johnny,” Ms. Williams said, “Can you stay after hours to work with me on the flow between one scene and another? Since the little prince is the only role always present on the stage, it needs more work.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Williams,” Johnny blurted in frustration, “my mother needs me to help her with chores and shopping after school.”
Jamie said, “I could stay after hours, Ms. Williams. I want to play The Little Prince. I like to perform and participate in other plays in the leading role. Could I play the part instead of Johnny?” She looked eager to take on the role of the Little Prince.
Ms. Williams said, “This is a good example of prioritizing our choice. Both Jamie and Johnny want to act as The Little Prince. Could you think of a solution that could help Johnny with his demands at home and include Jamie’s desire to play the leading role? Does anyone have a suggestion that will satisfy them both?”
Vivi raised her hand. “Yes, Vivi?” asked Ms. Williams.
Vivi said, “At the start of the year, we read there would be two performances, one during school hours and one in the evening for our families. I suggest Johnny performs the play for the kids in school, and. Jamie plays for the one in the evening.”
“That’s a great idea, Vivi, but it still doesn’t relate to the practice for the role itself.” said Ms. Williams, “Anybody with a solution for that conflict?”
Jamie said, “I’ll be happy to meet with Johnny virtually and fill him in on what I’ve learned for the role. I know Johnny likes to help other students. This time I’ll help him instead.”
A deep silence of gratitude followed Jamie’s words. Ms. Williams said, “Thank you, Jamie. That was very generous of you. Johnny, could you meet with Jamie on Zoom and get the information for the role?”
“Sure, Ms. Williams. Thank you, Jamie. It could be fun to work together on the same role. We could bring different ideas. If my mother didn’t restrict me, I would have missed this opportunity!” They all laughed at the solution to what seemed previously a tense situation.
During the lunch break, when Vivi, Betty, Chuck, and Johnny got together in their usual spot to share their meal, as was their custom, Johnny said, “Thank you, Vivi, for coming to such a creative solution about The Little Prince role. I thought it was either Jamie or myself; it couldn’t be both.”
Vivi said, “I started having this thinking after practicing Anapana. Suddenly, not everything had to be one way or another. After a pause, there comes a solution that includes both options. I love practicing Anapana. It allows me to think in ways I never thought before.”
Betty and Chuck nodded in agreement.
Johnny said, “I told Betty on the bus this morning that I wanted to learn that technique too. Maybe it could help me with my mother. She asks me to help her shop and bring things from the dry cleaner. I want to be with you, not alone in the house until she returns from work. The house is so big and empty when I’m alone.” Johnny shivered when he thought of opening the door to an empty house. It never felt comfortable.
Betty said, “Today, my mom stays later at school. She has some meetings with the other teachers. If you want, I could go to the cleaners and shop together. It could be fun.” She smiled at Johnny.
“That would be great, Betty, but that’s only a solution for today. What gets me,” said Johnny, “I feel she asks too much of me. Maybe with the Anapana technique, I won’t get so upset.”
Betty nodded understandingly and added, “Anapana helps me with my mother. Sometimes when she tells me to do stuff, I like her asking for my help. I imagine she trusts me enough, even if it is to put the dishes in the dishwasher, and then I feel good about it. I think Anapana could help you with your mother, Johnny. You could stop finding reasons to be angry with her.”
Chuck said, “There’s Ms. Williams. Why don’t we approach her and ask her to teach Johnny Anapana. There’s strength in numbers!” They had finished eating, so they all walked toward her.
Ms. Williams noticed them coming and greeted them, “Hi, you look as if you want something. What is it?” She asked gently.
Betty said, “We’d like you to teach Johnny the Anapana meditation technique. We all hang out a lot, and he sees good changes in all of us.” Betty made room for Johnny to speak for himself.
“Yes, Ms. Williams,” said Johnny, “These are my best friends, and they’ve changed for the better since you taught them. When Mike opens his mouth, Chuck doesn’t change colors; Vivi is calmer, and Betty is even more exceptional.” The kids gave high five to each other, and Ms. Williams laughed.
“Sure, Johnny, with such high recommendations, I’ll gladly teach you the technique. My office is too small for all of you, why don’t you stay in the classroom after the last period, and you’ll learn it there. Nobody will bother us.”
“Thanks, Ms. Williams,” said Johnny, “We’ll be there,” and they ran back to the yard for a few more minutes of sunshine before the end of the break.
When the last of the other students left the classroom, the four friends got some chairs and sat in a circle close to the front of the room. Ms. Williams saw their collaboration with appreciation and joined them.
“Ok, Johnny,” she smiled at him, “before I teach you the Anapana technique, we have to go through something else. It’s called the Five Promises. Anapana is part of a framework, a way of thinking and behaving. It’s not an action that stays by itself. For the Anapana technique to work, you must promise to behave in a certain way. Here is a sheet that specifies those promises.” She handed the sheet with the Five Promises to the four students. “Let’s go in a circle; each one reads one promise. I’ll be the last one. Vivi, please start.”
Vivi read the first promise, “I promise to treat all beings kindly and not kill or harm them in any way.”
Betty continued, “I promise to take only what is given to me and not take anything which belongs to others without permission.”
Johnny read the next one, “I promise to treat other boys and girls like brothers or sisters or best friends.”
Chuck read, “I promise to speak truthfully, kindly, and gently and not to tell lies or to say hurtful things to anybody or about anybody.”
Ms. Williams concluded the reading by saying, “I promise not to take alcohol, drugs, or intoxicants but to keep my mind clear. Can you try your best to keep these promises, Johnny?”
“They sound good in theory, but if I wanted to keep them as part of my life and not forget them the moment I stopped reading them, I think it could help me if I had an example of what they meant,” Johnny said, and his friends nodded in agreement.
“That’s a great idea, Johnny. Why don’t each of us rereads the promise they got and gives an example.” Ms. Williams looked to her right, “Why don’t you start, Vivi, with the first promise?”
“‘I promise to treat all beings kindly and not kill or harm them in any way.’ I love eating steak. I could have eaten it every day and never got tired of it. But once I started practicing Anapana, I became vegetarian. I didn’t want a cow to die just because I enjoyed eating her.” Vivi grinned and added, “There is enough food to eat without the need to kill anyone.” She looked at Betty, sitting to her right, to continue.
“‘I promise to take only what is given to me and not take anything which belongs to others without permission.’ I used to play with my mother’s makeup without her permission.” Betty blushed. “Now, whenever I want to use anything that is not mine, I ask permission first.” She smiled at Johnny to read next.
Johnny read, “‘I promise to treat other boys and girls like brothers or sisters or best friends.’ When Jamie said she wanted to be The Little Prince, I panicked. I felt it was either her or me.” Johnny grinned and continued, “ From now on, I’ll try to hear what my friends say as if they include me, and there is room for all of us to play together.” He then turned to Chuck.
“I promise to speak truthfully, kindly, and gently and not to tell lies or to say hurtful things to anybody or about anybody.’ I used to feel defensive when Mike said something rude to me. When I hear him, I realize it doesn’t need to affect me. He must be in pain to say something rude; otherwise, he would be kind to me. I hear him, but I don’t get hurt. I don’t take it as if it was about me. What he says are his thoughts unless I turn them into mine.” Chuck looked to his right, “It’s your turn now, Ms. Williams.”
“I promise not to take alcohol, drugs, or intoxicants but to keep my mind clear.’ I used to have a drink when I came home after work. It used to calm me down after the stress of the day. I meditate for a few minutes instead, which does the trick. Great job, everyone,” she added, “Can you reread all Five Promises, Johnny?”
Johnny read, “I promise to try to treat all beings kindly and not kill them or harm them in any way. I promise to take only what is given to me and not take anything which belongs to others without permission. I promise to treat other boys and girls like brothers or sisters or best friends. I promise to speak truthfully, kindly, and gently and not to tell lies or to say hurtful things to anybody or about anybody. I promise not to take alcohol, drugs, or intoxicants but to keep my mind clear.”
“Thank you, Johnny,” said Ms. Williams, “Can you try your best to keep these promises?”
Johnny nodded affirmingly, “Yes, I can, and I will.”
“Great,” said Ms. Williams, “Now we’ll move to learn the Anapana Technique. Please, all of you, close your eyes and breathe through your nose. Feel the air coming inside the nostrils, and feel it come out of your nostrils. Just follow your breath. If you breathe in short breaths, let it be that way. If you breathe long breaths, don’t change anything. Only observe it the way it is. If you breathe through your right nostril or your left nostril, observe it. Let’s do it for a moment.” They all closed their eyes and started breathing through their nose.
“Now,” continued Ms. Williams, “focus on the air coming out of your nostrils. Feel the air touching the part between your nose and your upper lip. If you can’t feel the air touching your upper lip, you may feel the air coming out of your nostril as you breathe. Let’s practice this for a moment.” They all sat quietly, observing their breath.
“Excellent,” said Ms. Williams, “Keep breathing in, breathing out, and when you notice that you start thinking about something else, acknowledge it and bring your focus back to your breath without judgment. Just smile in your heart, observing your mind going places, and bring it back to your breath. Let’s do this for a moment or two.”
After a few minutes, Ms. Williams said softly, “Ok, you can open your eyes now. Any questions?”
“Ms. Williams,” said Johnny, “This feels wonderful, but I feel selfish working only on myself. How can I help my mother to relax? She is so tense, and it makes me that way too.”
“That’s an excellent question, Johnny,” said Ms. Williams, “Unfortunately, we can’t change anyone else but ourselves, no matter what we do and how right we are in our thinking. We are the only people we have control of. We can change how we feel about it and what we do when they act a certain way, but we can’t make them do anything they don’t want or feel any different than how they feel now.
But there is a practice we do at the end of each session for a couple of minutes. It’s called Metta. Metta means loving-kindness, which is a good emotion. We send good feelings to ourselves and other people. We send these emotions to people we know and love and people we don’t need much at present, hoping that by sending them Metta, our relationship will change. We can also send Metta to specific people like your mother.
Let’s practice sending Metta right now. We’ll close our eyes and, for a moment, start sending loving-kindness to yourself, your family, your friends, kids you have a difficult time with, and then to all the people of the world.”
They sat quietly, sending loving kindness to themselves and others, and then Johnny said, “I get it. When I send Metta, I don’t do something that could get me into trouble. I don’t argue with anyone or convince them they do something wrong. It’s a quiet action. I like it!”
“Great,” laughed Ms. Williams, and the other kids joined her.
“We have to practice Anapana for ten minutes twice daily for the most benefit,” said Chuck.
“Yes,” continued Ms. Williams, “it’s a practice, not a mental understanding. My teacher, Goenka, asks us to practice it when we get up and in the evening before bed. Is it something you can do, Johnny?”
“Yes, Ms. Williams,” said Johnny, “I’ll do it when I get up and in the evening before my prayers.”
“Great, Johnny,” added Ms. Williams, “remember, kids, this is not instead of any religious practice you may have. It’s only a tool to make it easier in your life.”
They nodded and put the chairs back.
“Thank you, Ms. Williams,” said Johnny, “Betty, do you still want to help me with my chores?” He looked at her sheepishly, “You don’t have to.”
“Of course, Silly,” Betty said, “It beats going home to my empty house since my mom is not going to be there.” She sent one of her most radiant smiles at Johnny.
“Ms. Williams, when are we going to read the parts of the play?” asked Vivi, “I can’t wait to see it all coming alive!”
“Yes, Ms. Williams,” said Chuck, “I want to invite my grandma to the play. She’ll love it!”
“Sure, Chuck. We will send invitations to our family and friends when the time comes. By the way, Johnny, we will also transmit it on YouTube live in the evening, so you can watch it with your mom if she can’t make it to the play.”
“Thank you, Ms. Williams, that’s helpful. I want to see the role Jamie plays as the little prince. I bet she’ll be awesome. She’ll send me her Zoom number, and I’ll catch up at home.”
“I’m happy you’re already getting organized to work together,” said Ms. Williams, “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
The four friends left the school building but stopped before they went their separate way.
Vivi said, “I don’t know why, but I want to stay together for a minute longer. I don’t want to say goodbye to you all right now.”
They all nodded, and Chuck said, “I feel the same way, as if we went through something amazing. I feel the energy between us, and I don’t want to let it go.”
“I know what you mean,” added Johnny, “Thank you for being with me when I learned the Anapana technique. It’s a memory I’ll take for life.”
“We’re in this together,” said Betty, “Now, let’s go to the cleaner, Johnny. I’ve never been to a dry cleaner before. My mom takes care of all those things for me. Maybe I’ll ask her to let me do some of those chores. It could make it easier for her.”
“That’s such a new way of thinking for me,” Johnny shook his head, “I never thought how I could help my mom, but how to avoid helping her. It feels good to think positively. I bet it will help me get along better with her.”
“Ok, kids,” said Chuck, “I’m hungry. I must go home and have one of my grandma’s tasty meals. I think she made me mac and cheese.”
“Yeah,” said Vivi, “I’m hungry too. I’ll ask my mom to make some mac and cheese too. She always asks me what I want for dinner. Bye, everyone; I see my mom’s car.”
The friends parted for the day. Chuck to his grandma, Vivi to the waiting car, Betty and Johnny to the cleaners. But in their hearts, they stayed connected. They had a powerful tool to ease their way – Anapana.